Thursday, June 5, 2008

Fan Mail Round-up

As you can probably imagine, we sometimes get 10's of emails per year. Here's a sampling of a few we received so far in 2008.

Email 1 - March 13, 2008

I like the way your giant artichokes look. As big as soft balls or bigger and round. I saw them at Ralph's Supermarket in Long Beach last May. I didn't get me one. I wish I had! Can you help me with info?? It will have to be shipped. Price?? Address?? This will involve quantity. Same size. REPLY!!

Reply 1

Dear Fellow Mystery-monger,

Thanks you for your inquiry regarding the Giant Artichoke Crop of '05.

Unfortunately, our artichokes had never grown to that humongous size before, nor have they grown to that ginormous size since. In fact, the plants died the next year, apparently having "burned out".

We are attempting to recreate the conditions that might have caused the otherwise normal artichoke plants to grow such honkin' big fruit. The year these plants were spawned, there was record rainfall in April of over 17 inches! ... in Wiemar... at over 2000 feet in elevation! We believe the constant rain and unseasonable temps produced the gigantic proportions of this choke! We also fertilized it with an organic liquid fertilizer called TIGER BLOOM! Check back at later this year to see if we're successful.

Email 2 - March 11, 2008

Dear Rural Mysteries,

First I need to know if you are a resident of Placer County?

I have data that will blow your noodle but I can't trust just anyone with it. I need a trustworthy contact and must have involvement in subsequent investigation. I think I know where the dwelling of some red haired giants are but will not disclose to just anyone.

If you are serious or know someone who is, contact me.

Reply 2

Dear Fellow Truth-sniffer,

First, "Placer County" is an artificial political construct to which we owe no allegiance. However, we can tell you that water from the North Fork of the American River (and a little from the Bear River) flows in our veins.

Second, we've heard dark rumors of a creature known as "The Scarlet Sasquatch" that is sometimes speculated to exist in the Sierra Nevada, especially in the Reno area. This may or may not be related to the tribe of Red-haired Giants that you are investigating.

It sounds like you may have third-hand knowledge of these crypto-humanoids. Has your source heard of anyone who might be aware of any useful form of anecdotal evidence? If so, we are seriously curious with just a hint of token skepticism.

Email 3 - February 9, 2008

Hi there!

I used to live in Clipper Gap from 1985-1992. I enjoyed exploring the area immensely, which consisted of traipsing over private property most of the time.
My brother and I would walk down the railroad tracks to the Park and Ride every morning to wait for the bus going to Colfax High. On the way home, we would sometimes jump onto a slow moving train passing by the “dinosaur" and ride it down to Clipper Place and jump off. I never found the area to be mysterious like the Bermuda Triangle. It was simply a place I lived. We went to school, hiked, watched wild fires burn and be extinguished by borate bombers, and saw a few heavy snow falls.

My brother and I would walk past the dinosaur every time we’d go to Lake Theodore . It was amazing the first time we saw it. After that it was of little interest. We explored the abandoned train tunnel with no event to speak of other than reaching the other side.

I never saw the “mossy canyon” at Lake Theodore and I walked all over that area. The lake would dry up a lot and the water level would drop far enough to see all the garbage people through in there. One time my brother cut his foot on a broken bottle buried in the silt of the lake. After that we never ventured barefoot into the water.

My friends and I hiked on several occasions to Limerock (or robber’s roost) and climbed all over the thing. One cave cut at a transverse direction from one side to the other. It was always a little dangerous as the rocks were slippery from bird and bat dung. Never did go down the deep cave. Never got shot at by any of the folks growing marijuana near it. It was just another place to visit in the summer.

I also walked down Clipper Creek to the American River . This hike features blackberries to eat, several stunning waterfalls, big rocks to jump from, and finally a steep climb down the American River canyon to the river. The journey back up was not so fun. Here are two odd incidents that stand out:

  1. One dark morning on our way to the bus stop, a pack of wild dogs, which I assumed were coyotes, ran past us, chattering all the way. Never saw that again.

  2. While lying on my balcony one night (summer 1989) I saw in the air a triangle shaped object with three lights on the underside cruise up the American River Valley toward Meadow Vista at an altitude of about 1000 feet. It made no sound at all. Then it vanished over the railroad tracks and hills.

By the way, who are you guys??

Reply 3

Thanks for sharing your experiences growing up in the North Fork Polygon. We might follow-up on some of your adventures and sightings to be featured in a future article. You can remain anonymous, of course.

FYI - We're a semi-secret consortium of adventure scientists that are willing to scramble into remote, rattlesnake-infested canyons, explore unstable historic mining areas, and even surf the Web using slow-speed internet connections... all in the name of science and infotainment.

By the way, most of us "graduated" from Colfax High School between 1980 and 1990 and still live, hike, and play in this general area.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Whoa, whats wrong with your website? Can't log on. Was in Green Valley yeterday and want to read about the Pyramid.